21 October 2017
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Bread and Brew

Walking around the Dupont Circle area, I have frequently passed Bread and Brew. It’s in a prime location between West End and Dupont, and the name and marketing are eye catching. I love bread … I love brew … hard to go wrong with those things. The signage is hip, and the patio is full of “scenesters” sipping on beers and hanging out with their urban dogs with those retractable leashes. I’ve noticed this place more than once. So on this particular Thursday night I find myself in the area post-happy hour with a few friends. It’s 9 PM. Not much is open, and I’m four beers deep and starving.

We venture in, and the first thing I notice is their selection of organic and vegan options, so I start searching the café menu for animal products. My buddy Josh and I decide to split a pizza, one with real cheese and not artificially processed soybeans. How wrong can you go with pizza, right? The place smells like fresh baking-bread products, and the menu seems to have enough foodie appeal. We order a spinach and ricotta pizza and a couple of beers, and go sit outside waiting for our order.

Ten minutes later, I am so hungry I’m ready to devour just about anything. Out comes our pizza, and it looks downright yummy. The golden brown crust looks fluffy, and the cheese is melty and white and mixed with spinach. Our waiter sets it down on the table. No plates. One set of silverware with napkins. I don’t even care. I hand the silverware to Josh and grab a slice.

It’s awful. Like really terrible. I take a closer look. Frozen spinach boiled in water? No taste. Slimy. Gross.

The ricotta cheese is warm, and straight out of a tub. No spices. No garlic. No flavor. The crust is okay, but it’s like eating a piece of bread with cardboard on top. Apparently Bread and Brew doesn’t believe in seasoning. I don’t understand this trend among healthy cuisine. Why do I have to take a razor blade to my taste buds in order to eat healthy? Healthy food should be about fresh ingredients. There was nothing fresh about this pizza.

By this time, it was almost 10 PM. I hadn’t eaten since lunch. I did what any girl would do … I doused the pizza in Cholula hot sauce and inhaled. The hot sauce … was good, but I won’t be back.

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